To Whom It May Concern
Book Sample


to whom it may concern

Mine was a beggars mission.
To dreams of beauty I should have been born blind
Patrick Kavanagh
1938

a father and his son:
the father is in his sixties
the son is forty years old

1

at home
day
the father sits alone at the kitchen table

- Did you wake up while I was gone? I told you where I would be did you remember? I had to be there early I haven’t got up so early since I was working do you remember when I was working? I had to get up early then I took you with me a couple of times you liked it I haven’t got up so early since then but I had to get up early today for my appointment I told them I couldn’t be gone very long they understood I saw them right away before they got busy they’re always busy there I told you I wouldn’t wake you remember? I knew you’d sleep through you sleep so late were you okay?
pause
Do you remember the foundry? do you remember the furnaces and the metal running out burning? you thought that was good you laughed we always started early we were like old fashioned blacksmiths or something working with that hot metal I took you on the train we travelled all that way in the dark I wasn’t ashamed of you I didn’t care what anyone said they didn’t say anything they were all sorry for me I wasn’t I was sorry for you I’m not now you’re the way you are
pause
Did you wake up while I was gone? I bet you would have looked for me you wouldn’t have known where I was but I told you where I would be I knew you wouldn’t remember I was hoping you didn’t wake up
long pause
the son appears in the kitchen doorway
I’ve got something to tell you


2

a beer garden
early evening
long wooden tables and the shadows of trees
the father drinks beer
the son drinks lemonade

- We came here two years ago for your birthday so I knew you’d like it I wanted to take you somewhere nice today
pause
Drink your drink it’s best before the ice has melted then later you can drink the melted ice I’ve seen you do that drink it now while there’s still bubbles
the son drinks
I was at the hospital today I know you won’t remember me telling you
- Da
- It doesn’t matter I’m telling you now that’s where I was I was there because I had to see about
- Da
- Don’t interrupt me please I was there to see about some tests I had remember I was there for some tests?
pause
Well they got the results of the tests the results aren’t good I knew they’d be bad but not as bad as they were I just sat there when they told me most of the time I don’t know what they’re saying it’s just the looks on their faces that tell you you don’t have to know what all the words mean I know what some of them mean but not all of them but I know when news is bad that’s what I’ve got to tell you
the son finishes his lemonade and tips the ice onto the table
Now look what you’ve done someone will have to clean that up
- Da
- Someone will come and clean it I just want you to listen to me I know its hard for you like everything is hard some things are hard for me too in a different way but I’ve got to tell you only I don’t know how
pause
I don’t want you to be afraid I don’t ever know if you’re afraid maybe you’re afraid all the time I wish you could tell me especially now I don’t want you to be afraid but everything will have to be different now on account of what I found out today and what it means there’s nothing I can do about it
pause
I’m going to die very soon a few months I’m going to die in hospital you can’t be there I’ll die there because that way it won’t be so bad for me or for you I won’t be able to look after you like I have things will happen to me I won’t have to be in such pain if I’m there I don’t want all the pain it’s already started it will get worse you won’t have to see what happens to me they can help me in the hospital they’ll give me the right medicines and change my sheets and look after me and see I don’t suffer too much I want to die that way I want someone to look after me you can’t and that isn’t your fault but I won’t be able to look after you any more we’ll have to find someone else
pause
It’s cancer you don’t know what that is but I’ve got it and we’ll have to find someone else to look after you
pause
- Da
- Do you want another lemonade?


3

at home
night
at the kitchen table
the father has written a letter and reads it to himself

-    To whom it may concern Leo is my son of forty years but like a child what he doesn’t understand I can’t explain to him mostly he doesn’t know what you would call normal things he would never hurt anyone he doesn’t know right from wrong it’s just the way he is
the son calls out distressed from the other room
- Da! da!
- Yes I’m coming
- Da!
- Yes Leo yes yes I’m coming
the father puts down the letter and goes into the other room


4

on the street
day
the father stands in a phonebox
the son waits outside
the father dials a number and waits for an answer

- Hello Max hello it’s your brother Daniel I’m calling from a phone box hello I know it’s early but how long has it been? Daniel what the hell I’m calling I know it’s early it’s been years I wondered was it still the same number listen Max I don’t have the money to
long pause
Do I have to spend all my money to apologise? listen Max I can’t I just I sent you a card on your birthday who’s counting how many years ago I need to talk to you there’s something listen Max stop Max stop I just I know how long it’s been I can’t call later I know it’s early I wanted to catch you before you went to work are you still working? it’s just I’ve got to talk to you today I’ve got to it’s important you remember Leo? yes a long time let’s not talk about whose fault I have to talk to you Max listen it’s important you’re my brother Max who else can I talk to? I’m running out of money here I don’t have much like always
long pause
Max?
the father hangs up and leaves the phonebox
the son takes his father’s hand
- Da
- Your uncle says hello
they walk off


5

a bank
a small cubicle
the father and the son at a desk waiting

- I could have done all this at the counter with the regular customers here’s better with the manager I’ve been a customer here for twenty years today I’m leaving
pause
I’ll just say we have other plans at least it’s private here I’m taking everything I’ve got saved it won’t matter to them I won’t say anything about the details you’ll need everything I’ve got saved it isn’t much
pause
Why’s he keeping us waiting so long?


6

at home
night
the father at the kitchen table
the boy on the floor
after a long silence

- When you were a little boy you didn’t play I wanted to play with you but you didn’t play
very long pause
- Da


7

at home
the bedroom
night
the son asleep in bed
the father standing beside him

- Sometimes a man knows what to do sometimes he doesn’t know no one can tell him if he looks for advice it doesn’t help he’s got to make up his own mind but he can’t all he has is what he knows if he doesn’t know much what can he do? he never learnt much he just lived his life quietly in a corner like a dog eating shitting sleeping he never talked much he didn’t listen and he never had to think about the hard things there were so many hard things he didn’t think of he didn’t want to think about them or work them out for himself he didn’t know how to somehow they passed the hard times passed it was a failing he knows that it’s too late one day so what does he do? he can’t start over he’s lost
the boy wakes distressed and makes a sound
Go back to sleep
- Da
- Yes I’m here go back to sleep I’m here

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